The problem with me and writing is that I go through periods where I get very little done at all, then I get back into it and make some progress.
Part of me thinks that explains why I am a plotter at heart, I need the structure in place so when I get back to it I can easily pick up where I left off.
The other part of me, says “screw it! Just write!” but the issue with that is, it is harder for me to get back to as I forget what I was thinking and planning from the last session.
I think that is the wonderful thing about Blogging, I can write a little or a lot just to exercise the creative part of my brain a little, the other problem is once I have written a blog post, half of me wants to keep writing while I am mentally ‘warmed up’, and the other half just wants to stop writing there and be done for the day.
Especially when I have games like Assassins Creed: Valhalla and Watch Dogs: Legion constantly dancing into my mind when I am trying to concentrate on work!
My concentration has markedly improved recently, and I am now able (some days anyway) to concentrate on something for longer than five minutes at a time. Beforehand, I would really struggle to focus on a task, even something as mundane as watching TV with dinner would be a task.
But I guess that is all part of living with Depression.
Depression has been with me for longer than I can remember, and it has really sunk it’s claws into me. Writing is one thing that if I can only focus on it and have a never ending supply of coffee nearby, I think I have a shot at pushing it out of my head for a little while.
I am trying my hand at coding which scratches that same itch, the desire to create, to get it all out of my head and onto the page, and shove Depression aside for a bit.
So, yeah a bit of an uncoordinated ramble today, just trying to get my thoughts down on paper so I can really get stuck back in to writing and coding and endeavour to be free of Depression, even if only for a little while.
I must say though, it is nice to be able to enjoy things again some days, rather than lockdown being a time to worry, stress out and be bad tempered, it is looking like a time for creating and educating myself.
I use Udemy and Centre of Excellence which I highly recommend, I also have a Skillshare account but have not used it yet despite it being recommended by others.
But that is my thoughts for today, tomorrow will come when it comes and I can only hope for a day where I can look forward with a hopeful expectation rather than backwards on the past.
I have no idea where I would be if it not for the constant presence of my beautiful wife and best friend Tracey, without her support this year and the past sixteen years, I think I would be in a very different situation.
So, if you are struggling too, consider trying to educate yourself on a hobby, something that interests you and can distract you from your own head for a little bit; it definitely works for me some of the time.
I know people say exercise is a Depression killer but I hate it! I have a workout routine to keep me active that I do three times a week, but so far I am still waiting on the fabled, ‘feel good’ feeling that is supposed to come with it. All I feel is relief it’s over!
Ah well, time to end it here as I have rambled on enough, I have a workout to do, more writing to do, a supply run to the shops and if I listen to Tracey, decorations to put up!
Have a great weekend folks!
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